trauma

last sunday

tooth begins to hurt. i think, "huh. i must be grinding my teeth at night." you know, due to the stress of feeling like first year teacher. 

later on that night

man this pain IS SO NOT going away. bummer! better make a dentist appointment. 

monday afternoon-thursday afternoon

specialist appointments ohhh and nitrus!

the specialist gives me nitrus. have you heard of this stuff? because i paid little attention to things that happen to me in my childhood, if i have had this stuff in my life i never knew! 

this was the best hour of my life...my thoughts had fluffy clouds around them, and i wanted to hug everyone! oh and i simultaneously came up with a hip icy hot commercial and rap video. yeah i did! it was awesome.

friday morning 11:00

ready to get this procedure over with. 

surgeon comes in to give me shots...ugh painful!

now at this point i am upset about a few things:

1. im missing a blue ribbon award assembly (im a dork! were ONE of only 21 schools is california to get such a nod)

2. the root of my sadness...i am not going to be able to schedule my first IUI for my husband and i because of all the damn drugs im gonna be on and ALL the stress this has caused. double ugh. 

then the procedure begins. i tell you, when that doctor pulled out my tooth i literally JUMPED off the table. it was excruciating! then...i just let go of all the damn sorry feelings i felt. the tears and sobbing...it literally went on for an hour. sure i could of pretended to have some shred of dignity, but i had none. i didn't want dignity. i wanted something to cry about! i really, truly did. i didn't want to cry about not having a baby, because come on! there are worse things! like this painful procedure! as traumatic as it all was,it felt good to cry a good long while and feel sorry for myself. i don't let myself do that EVER! but maybe i should.

kids will be kids

this week two kiddos celebrated their birthdays in class. it was great to remember how special this day truly is for such youngins. so much of my time is making sure i'm teaching standards well, and that my kiddos are learning. the cupcakes and gift bags were a great reminder that the kiddos are just that. kiddos. not just a brain. and you know what else? im not just a teacher. im a loving lady. that does what i do (not just for the test scores) but because i really love these little guys (and their brains!).

things i've learned from my parents

well one thing i learned from my parents is that if you lie about things (and when i say things i mean every type of things; how much groceries cost that week, what time your really gonna get to the party, the fact that you have forgotten to pay the electric bill for two months, or that you haven't done laundry yet). its the right thing to do. so what do i do. i lie from time to time. now, don't let your imagination get too crazy!
it's simple. i stayed late at work and didn't tell the husband. why tell the truth? he'll just be mad.  then im shocked when he thought i would be home with dinner ready because, you know, i got home at a decent hour. according to the lies ive told about where ive been. what a jerk. how could he expect me to have dinner ready after such a grueling day! oh wait i didnt tell em about my grueling day because i thought it would be better not to say anything about it. we explained ourselves and all was fine.
however, here's the thing. i like to consider myself somewhat of a good communicator (not great, but moderately in the good range) so why do i revert to things ive learned from my parents? sheesh, i guess 18 years of living with people can really rub off on ya.

the good ol try

im gonna give this whole blog thing another try. i wont be so scared this time. im a little overwhelmed by it all though. i have tons of questions:
1. how do i add blogs i like (does a make a difference what "feed" they're subscribed to?)
2. how do i change this drab template? its killin' me!
3. buttons? what are these buttons?
4. widgets...is that a type of gnome?
confused for sure...but once im intrigued, ill catch on. i hope...